Apologize.

I had a dream I died.
Seriously.
One of my best friends and I were in a car wreck.
It was so real.
I woke up and freaked out.
And that's how my week began.

In high school I was SO insecure.
And I gossiped.
A LOT.
I liked to stretch the truth too.
Or not tell it.
And.
I wound up in trouble a few times because of it.

I've grown up now and gossiping only comes up every now and then.
And of course, always about boys.
I knew I owed a few people apologies.
But.
I had a hard time with the idea.
It scares me, confrontation and all.
So.
I've cleared up some,
But I haven't had the guts to clear it all up.

Last night, I apologized to one of my good friends.
Because of a time constraint.
That's the only reason why.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad I did.
Our friendship totally was renewed.
But.
When would I have done this if it wasn't for time?
It got me thinking...
Until 1:30 A.M.
And this morning when I woke up groggy at 7:00 to shower...
I realized it was time to apologize and stop being so afraid.
NOW.

I know I can't go back and apologize for the little petty things,
But I can apologize for the thing I remember.
And I remember a few.
A few people i'll be apologizing or writing to soon.
And it took a long summer of bad boys and heartbreak (me),
And a friend finding love (Mags),
To realize that gossiping hurts people.
Not like I haven't heard gossip about myself before.
It was just more real this time.

I know this is cheesy,
And I'm working on my honesty and gossip.
But I know I've offended people.
And i'm sorry.
I really am.
I know that it was wrong.
And i'm sorry it took so long to come out and say it.
But I truly am sorry.
For anything that I've said or done to offend anyone.
It hurts.
It sucks.
And it's just wrong.
...chelle..